Sunday, 19 December 2010

Broken Hearts

Love is a rush of emotions created by the mind.. yes I know I keep saying that but its true. Basically the mind starts connecting less to the physical aspect of the person and more to the person’s essence. When you fall in love with someone you think of how that person makes you feel, not their appearance or how comparative you are.

My mother always used to say “Love, when it all falls apart... survive it and conquer it.” Her words may sound rather obscure, but if you decide to put it into the right context her words may really inspire you. When your life changes it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Life is a lesson and you never know how strong you are; until being strong is the only choice you have. Yeah I know... it sounds clichĂ©, but surviving heartbreak has been one of the most difficult "emotional experiences" of my life other than losing a loved one. However, I also have to admit that heartbreak was also the most rewarding experience in its own right because of the lesson learned.

A few years ago when I was rejected and heartbroken, I became very obsessive over his whereabouts and constantly stalked his Facebook page to view his status updates.
When things are going smoothly; love is a wonderful and a powerful addiction. However, it can also be a horrible addiction when things go bad. I read a while ago that Helen E. Fisher, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University thinks that our brain’s response to rejection is ultimately negative because we have a natural urge to win back our so called lost ‘mating partners’. She argues that our reaction serves as an evolutionary purpose, although in my opinion it’s hard to take comfort in her words when our hearts feel like they’ve been broken.
Knowing this information, I realize that obsessively ‘Facebook stalking’ my ex may not have been completely unjustifiable. (Although, this justification may probably not sit well with the court of law, I find that removing them from facebook works.)

According to studies conducted; I can apparently blame this obsessive behavior on biology.
The university researchers found that romantic rejection could now be considered a specific form of addiction itself. When studying 15 heterosexual men and women, the researchers found that every participant claimed to spend approximately 85 percent of their time either obsessing or thinking about reconnecting with the person who rejected them. And just as recovering addicts, they struggled with basic survival techniques, as they recently endured a romance-based rejection. The scientists showed these people pictures of their former lovers and discovered that activity increased in the same area of the brain that is known to be associated with drug addiction. They concluded that this helps explain why there is still such a significant craving for the ex partner regardless of how quickly you try to move on.

The areas in the brain involved in the regulation of emotions, decision making and evolution were activated when the participants were shown the pictures, which the doctor woman argues may help you move on and avoid future heartbreak. Therefore although it may feel like an eternity when you’re away from your loved one, there is a silver lining.
They Scientists found that time really does heal all wounds, as increasing amount of days passed after the breakup; signs of addiction in the brain slowly decreased. Additionally, those rejected start using reflective techniques to figure out what went wrong and eventually figure out how to adapt this information to their future relationships.
Although it was hard to deal with in the past, I'm greatful for all the lessons I've learned, and I basically couldn’t have done it without the assholes of my past. So thanks a lot guys.

1 comment:

  1. Your article is really interesting. Good job B.